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How Much Does Free Advice Cost You?

My grandfather, Elias, operated a restaurant in San Bernardino, California in the 1950’s called Simon’s Sandwich Shoppe. Catchy, huh? He was a good friend of a pair of brothers who owned a restaurant nearby, Maurice and Richard McDonald.

Despite what the fine folks at McDonalds might tell you, the burger joint that is worldwide today, was started in San Bernardino by Maurice and Richard 60 years ago.

From that friendship, the restaurant fortunes of Elias and Maurice and Richard diverged. The McDonald story you know. Maurice and Richard developed a novel concept and found a partner in Ray Kroc who was the innovator of what is now known as franchising. My grandfather moved his restaurant three times in three years hoping to find an ideal location before closing the restaurant for good in the late 1950’s.

While I was growing up, this lack of fortune in the restaurant business led to one piece of enduring advice:

“Jeffrey,” my grandparents would say, “If you ever open a restaurant, we’ll disown you.”

My grandparents were very loving. I knew full well, even at the age of 10, they would never disown me. But, the message was clear: “Open a restaurant and it will fail.”

No Battle Strategy Survives First Engagement With the Enemy

That’s what history’s great military strategists will tell you: Napoleon, Clausewitz, Sun Tzu. That does not mean you can never win a battle. What it means is you can never be certain of the outcome of a strategy you have for the battle.

You can plan, but until the plan is put into action you can never know if it will succeed or fail. Will your battle (business) strategy work? You will not know unless you act. There are too many variables—that you have no control over—that can influence outcome.

There are steps you can take to enhance your chances of success. But, the human dynamic and the quality of execution makes no bet—including the restaurant business—a sure thing.

Been to any Good Places to Eat Lately

Now somebody somewhere has made good in the restaurant business, right? I’ve had chicken curry, sushi, and soft serve frozen yogurt within the last week that tells me so. So, why could I not succeed as a restaurateur? I enjoy food. I enjoy cooking. I watch cooking shows all of the time. When we have guests they are often surprised at the quality of the fare.

Did I miss my calling by heeding my grandparent’s advice?

While I enjoy cooking for a lot of people sometimes, I don’t think I would like it all of the time. But, I never considered it, never pursued it, and never gave it a chance. Their free advice came with a cost. I did not pursue an avenue in life I might have. How does advice influence you?

You are What You Think and Thoughts are Contagious

Consider for a moment what you have achieved. I assert that you had a clear vision of that achievement in your mind. Vision often precedes achievement.

Your mind is an amazing instrument. It is a collection of triggers, reflexes, and connections. Most of these triggers are so subtle, you may not always be aware of their presence or influence. Your mind compels your action. One of the most influential triggers is thought.

Your thoughts are a precious resource. They can be formed and developed by you to achieve your ends. They can also be formed and influenced by others. One method of influence: advice.

Take No Advice at Face Value

As your thoughts are so influential, you have to maintain vigilance for what thoughts you entertain and which you dismiss. You are the gatekeeper. Hearing advice is an active process. You take what you can use and leave the rest behind.

One way to filter advice is by identifying its form. Here are a few types to avoid:

1. Don’t-even-bother advice:

You are going to fail anyway. Save yourself the grief. Do not even try. This is the advice my grandparents gave me about the restaurant business. No outcome is set in stone: plan, execute, evaluate, and adjust. Even trying and failing can be a powerful, transformative learning experience.

2. Success-is-guaranteed advice:

Similar to the don’t-even-bother variety, it suggests an outcome before attempt. Many product sales appeals are structured with this kind of advice. It’s based on an argument fallacy known as after this therefore because of this. Remember, no outcome is guaranteed.

3. Sky-is-falling advice:

Rather than committing to a prediction of failure, this advice tells you how difficult it will be. Most often given by advisors who counsel from their own fears, risk tolerances, experience, and assumptions. Of course, no two people share the same set of fears, risk tolerances, experience, and assumptions. So their advice may not be applicable to you.

4. Proselytizing advice:

This is a catchall variety. Many forms of advice are given without concern for your welfare. Rather, it is an attempt by the advisor to convert you to their way of thinking or experience. If your experience or opinion validates theirs, they will feel better for making the choice or living the experience. Face it; misery loves company.

If you know the kind of advice you are receiving, you can be vigilant about the thoughts you are accepting. Consider the source. Consider their motives. Consider the differences you have with their experience, aptitudes, and risk tolerance.

I imagine that if my grandfather awoke one morning with an inspiration and Ray Kroc made a wrong turn on his way to lunch, it would be my family name that would be associated with the clogging of arteries and expanding of waistlines the world over. Instead of the golden arches, maybe it would be the golden “S.”

I am glad it turned out the way it did. I can only imagine that I would be a little less free to pursue my own path in life. I much prefer to live my own struggle. I much prefer to blaze my own path. Advice is welcome, but I am the captain of this ship.

May you be the captain of yours as well.

Happy Client Retaining,

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© 2004-2007 Jeff Simon Consulting. All Rights Reserved. Wouldn't you love to peer into your client's head and know what they are thinking and feeling? Could you have better success at keeping and choosing your best clients if you could decode their behavior? Check out the Happy Clients Newsletter at: www.happyclientsnewsletter.com.

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