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What a Client Negotiation Course Can’t Teach You

“Do not touch that last piece of pizza!”

I heard that a lot in college. Among my college friends, pizza was part-food, part-party, and part-sacred event. A bunch of us would hang out, scrape together the money we had left in our pockets, and then decide how many pizzas we could afford.

When eating, some guys would take their time. Others would eat quickly. Sometimes, I would eat through my share, except for the last piece, then wait until only one slice was left.

That statement, “Do not touch the last piece,” would typically come from one of the slower eaters.

I had cause to remember that statement recently when I came across the following situation.

All of the Seminars in the World Won’t Help

Jason is an attorney. He is in a seminar about how to have better relationships with his clients. He has taken countless seminars, read many books, and even bought a few home study courses about how to negotiate with his clients.

It has not helped. Jason is frustrated and discouraged.

Jason wants better relationships with his clients. He recently left the district attorneys office where he prosecuted financial crimes. He is now in private practice, specializing in civil litigation.

His transition to private practice has been rough, in part because he now answers to a different kind of client. At the district attorneys office, he had a boss and a bureaucracy that were his primary clients. He really did not see crime victims as clients. Crime victims had no say. They did not pay Jason’s salary. They were merely witnesses, and in Jason’s eyes, not often very good ones.

In private practice, Jason answers to a different type of client, a type of client that does not follow consistent procedures. Jason preferred the structure of the district attorneys office. Now, he gets a little annoyed at his clients. And it shows.

Yet, Jason continues to go through seminars, read books, and buy home study courses to improve his client relationships.

Jason’s problem took me back to one of my college pizza feasts.

Whose Needs Are Most Important?

More often than not, “Do not touch that last piece!” would come from Mike. Mike was a large, behemoth, walking-eclipse of a man. He dwarfed me. And at 200 lbs, I was not small. When Mike would make that statement there was no mistaking his intent. If not for his better nature, he could easily eat my share and everyone else’s.

When Mike said, “Do not touch that last piece!” Mike was for Mike, and no one else. Being the stubborn troublemaker that I was, I would take the last piece and run to avoid Mike’s grasp while I would eat the piece, laughing the whole time. Mike was being pushy, and I thought outright defiance was a perfectly appropriate response. Fortunately, for me, I’m much smarter now.

Imagine my surprise when one day, that statement came from Brent, not Mike. Brent was just as large as Mike, but completely different in temperament. Brent was a true gentle giant; kind, helpful, and gracious.

When Brent said, “Do not touch that last piece!” I experienced something profoundly different. Without thinking, I found myself letting go of the pizza. Brent was not concerned about Brent. He was concerned for me. And I could feel it.

What motivated Brent?

He noticed a spider had just made its way onto the last piece.

What could Jason learn from Brent?

What You Cannot Buy at a Seminar

No matter how hard Jason tries, no matter how many books he reads, or seminars he attends, nothing will help Jason if he does not change the way he stands in relationship to his clients.

Jason is imposing an inappropriate set of conduct standards on his clients, governmental structure. His clients, who are not responsible for the public trust, are not measuring up. And Jason has been unwilling to accept that his client’s standards are perfectly reasonable.

The most basic rule when interacting with others is the posture of your heart. Whether you refer to it as attitude, or way of being, or intent; how you concern yourself with the needs of others will come out in your interactions.

No relationship course or negotiation technology in the world will overcome your lack of concern for the needs of your client.

Jason will not realize the fruit of his educational efforts until he makes amends with his clients about how he considers their needs.

Perhaps he could start by taking one client out for pizza . . .

. . . and offering him the last slice.

Happy Client Retaining,

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© 2004-2007 Jeff Simon Consulting. All Rights Reserved. Wouldn't you love to peer into your client's head and know what they are thinking and feeling? Could you have better success at keeping and choosing your best clients if you could decode their behavior? Check out the Happy Clients Newsletter at: www.happyclientsnewsletter.com.

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